There are few betrayals more personal than a spouse who cheats, and anger is often the most powerful emotion a hurt spouse will feel. They have often given up much of what they had to invest in their relationship, and they see nothing more than the sneering greed of the person who cheated on them. Bullying can be a large part of a relationship with a cheating spouse, and they often have the most control in the relationship. A spouse who finds their partner cheating on them has a right to their anger, but they should work on letting it go as soon as possible.
A time for anger
When they first find out their spouse has cheated on them, the person betrayed has a huge decision to make. They must decide whether or not they can live with the person, and they need to stay emotionally strong to weather the storm it creates. This is a time for anger to be helpful as it will keep them from buckling under the stress of the situation, but it will need to be let go once they have achieved their goal. Many leave their spouse, and they will need their anger to ensure they get their just share of the marital assets, but they need to release it as soon as they can.
Living with trust
Being the victim of a cheating spouse often leaves a person unable to trust others, and that can ruin their chance of finding a new partner worthy of a relationship. Living with trust means taking a chance, and there is no shame in seeking professional help. Those who are unsure of how to find their way back to a normal life need to find support groups or counsellors who can give them direction. Their ability to trust others is the only way they will eventually find the good relationship they deserve.
The need for indifference
There are many times in life when fate will throw two people together, and it can even happen with a former spouse who cheated. At those times, keeping an even emotional balance is important. The need for indifference or its appearance can turn a difficult situation into a winning situation for the spouse who was hurt. It will give them the upper hand in negotiation during the divorce, and it is the best revenge when it comes to living a good life. The appearance will eventually turn into true indifference, and a new life can be forged at that time.
There is and should be a great deal of anger when it comes to a personal betrayal, and there is no justification in the world that will be good enough to excuse that type of behaviour. Being angry can help sustain a person through the beginning phases of dealing with the situation, but it can be unhealthy if it remains too long. For those who have done their best to move past their anger, there is the reward of a chance at a new and better life in their future.